So, fellas, this one is for you. And for all you ladies, this one is for you too in a roundabout sort of way. I'm sure you get my drift.
Gentleman, first and foremost, shower. Especially if you are going on a first date, a job interview, an important business meeting or the grocery store (you don't know that you won't meet the lady of your dreams or, I don't know, the president or something). Women like men that are clean (this applies to all you dudes in Girdwood too, even though I know you think you're too cool to shower). And use soap, wash your hair, clean your nails, brush your teeth (you know how I feel about clean teeth). To me, and to most women I know, hygiene shows responsibility and more importantly it shows a woman you respect her enough to look good. For me personally, that's a huge deal.
So, next, let's talk about hair. Eh hem. Gentleman, this is now the 21st century and bald is cool (don't forget the sunscreen!!!!). But, long stringy dirty dreadlocks are not. That is so early 90's. And that's exactly what a lady is going to think if you show up with that kind of hair - "this dude is stuck in the past and not looking toward the future". This absolutely applies to any kind of mullet - ABSOLUTELY, no exception. PERIOD.
So, before all the dissing goes to the 1980's and 90's, let's not forget to mention the trend since 2000 of men wearing hair product - gel, paste, whatever. I'll be the first to say that the faux-hawk is kinda cool but if your hair looks wet when it's not? That is decidedly NOT cool. I can hear the small cries of horror from those of you that do your 'do... I'm not say not to do your 'do but maybe the next time your in the market for new hair product, go to a salon and ask a paid professional for some third-party perspective and assistance. :)
Before we move on to clothes and shoes (I'm sure at this point, I've lost most of the male readers anyway), we gotta talk face products for men. And to launch this topic, I have repeat the funniest fricking story I have heard in a very long time (or maybe it was the dark beer that made it funny... anyway).
I have a male friend, he's married to one of my best woman friends, and he knows the importance of using face lotion, of moisturizing. So, he was going for a job interview and running late. He had just gotten out of the shower and went to put on face lotion, grabbing some of his wife's since it was handy.
He thought he had the interview cinched but came away not sure due to the vibe he was feeling from the interviewer. He's driving home and glances in the rearview mirror and notices a shimmer.... he was shimmering. He had inadvertently grabbed his wife's shimmer body lotion and so was going for the manly-man job interview with a touch of glitter all over his face! (this is me falling on the floor laughing my ass off - BOOM) I love this story for two reasons - 1. He pays attention to his skin and 2. He wasn't so horrified that he couldn't make fun of himself. Classic.
So, yeah, men. It. Is. OK. To. Moisturize! Kiehl's makes a nice line that is masculine and affordable. Women like to stroke a smooth cheek just as much as you do. ;) Here's the site: http://www.kiehls.com/_us/_en/men/index.aspx
Last subject, clothing. This is touchy because women (and if your heterosexual, you don't dress for anyone else but women) can vary alot on this issue of how they want their fella to look. So, with that in mind, I'm going to speak from my own perspective on how I would like my (fictional) fella to dress.
I think we all need to dress to express who we are. You should feel like your clothing is an extension of who you are. And pardon me for being serious for a moment, but that is not a decision to be made flippantly.
If you wear -on a daily basis - a ratty flannel and Carhartt's, that says to me you don't really give a shit. And when I say this, I'm not talking about our fellas out there who work on a remote cabin or construction or generally do something where you get dirty over the course of your day. And if you do do something where you get dirty over the course of the day, most of us gals think that's kinda hot. But, when you want to spend time with your gal or are going to the grocery store, go for something that you bought within the last year that doesn't include a baseball hat with a flat rim. No holes, no frayed seams, not too baggy and not too tight. T-shirts are fine but no stains or holes Puh-leeez! And don't just throw one on since it was the closest one to you on the floor. We can tell.
If you must wear business wear - make sure it fits right. If you shirt sags in the neck, it DOES NOT fit right. If the top seam of your sleeve hits mid bicep, it DOES NOT fit right. If your pants crease more than two creases over your shoe.... you guess it .... it DOES NOT fit right. Questions? See a tailor. There's a good one in the little mall where Northern Lights and Minnesota meet.
If you're a khaki and polo kinda guy, no worries. Just don't keep the exact same polo and khaki's for 5 years, spend the money and update the cut of your pant and the color of your shirts every year. I know that seems like a big commitment for some of you but I know you can do it. I know you can. And if you find that you're struggling with what to buy - go ask the cute little sales girl (the one you would date) and ask her to help you. I know that can be a foreign concept but just pretend I'm another dude and I'm daring you to do it. Or I'll kick your ass. Does that help?
And finally, all of the above applies to footwear too. If your girlfriend says your shoes are crap - get some new ones! Embrace 2009, there's some kickass style out there now. Go get you some!!
There's alot of ground to cover on the subject of men and fashion - I can't possibly cover all the finer points but if you have specific questions, feel free to post a comment. Just don't call me a bitch or I'll give a high-pitched squeal and cry.
Peace out.
